that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize