barbara walters just said penis...
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
