He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
