how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize