why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
