well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
