I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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