That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
