TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
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