Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
