he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I supernannyed him into submission
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
