She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
