I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
