Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
