Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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