i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
