I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
