..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
