I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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