That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
