He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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