Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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