He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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