I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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