The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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