I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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