fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
