my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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