I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
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