so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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