Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
