And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
