He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
