Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
