There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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