That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
