I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
