if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
