What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
