So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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