he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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