I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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