Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
