I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
