dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
