Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
