i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
