apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
