In the future we'll all be gay
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
