smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize