So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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