Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
