FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
