If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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