just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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