i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
