i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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