After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
