Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
