If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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