So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
People with herpes should wear stickers.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
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