doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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