careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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