I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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