By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
