you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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