I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize