Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
3 2 1 whiskey
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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