He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
