We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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