it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
