i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
