he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
