oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
