I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
