i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
