don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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