You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize