hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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