Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Girls should come with a carfax report
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Randomize
