I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
