I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
